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22 May 2012 @ 10:46 pm
[rpf] We never change, do we? We never learn, do we?  
Title: We never change, do we? We never learn, do we?
Author: lamechante
Betareader: vedova_nera
Fandom: One Direction
Characters: Liam/Harry
Word-counting: 1796
Rating: G
Disclaimer: not true.
Notes:
1. Liam was told during his audition that he could be the next Justin Bieber.
2. Title from 'We never change', Coldplay
3. Dedicated to Vany who helped me so much♥

It’s hard to handle success, especially when you are an eighteen-year-old boy; you tell yourself and others that you will keep yourself grounded, but instead you start buying new clothes, expensive perfumes, behaving as if you were invincible and unbreakable.
Liam knows that lots of things have changed in his life and wonders if he was born under a lucky star or if karma decided to counterbalance his horrible years in high school with this unexpected fame. All in all, though, he hasn’t changed much: behind the iconic image that television gives, he is just the boy who speaks in the wrong place and the wrong time; he is childish, straightforward as only kids can be. Still, the world around him is moving in ways he would have never expected and he cannot do anything but follow its moves and blame it on it if sometimes he cannot recognize himself anymore.
He tells – they tell – people that, nevertheless, he has a supportive family behind him, that will always remind him about his roots. However, it happens that his parents had become part of that world that seems to turn faster and faster: his father started to blabber about a book on Liam’s childhood and his mother to welcome journalists at home and put on new shoes within the domestic walls. And Liam laughs, sometimes amazed, sometimes astonished or just confused.

Every night, depending on what timezone he’s in, he skypes with them and he’s not sure why, but those conversations have a cathartic effect on him: in their eyes, he is still their little boy, so they worry about his food patterns, his health that has troubled him for so long, and ask him the very same questions each night. Liam, though, has always something new and exciting to tell them and time flies when they talk as if their own world had different time rules.

*

Liam’s in the USA for their Up all night tour and it’s mid-afternoon when he calls home: they had a smashing concert last night and he cannot wait to tell his mother everything. She’s smiley as always and looks through the camera with pride and interest, but he notices immediately that there’s something wrong in the way she behaves.
“Mum,” he asks, interrupting his flow of ideas and facts,“What’s going on?”
She gives the room a cursory glance as if she wants to make sure to be alone, the kind of look women have when they’re gossiping in the streets or in a crowded pub.

“Liam, do you remember the day of your audition two years ago?” she starts off, keeping her voice low.
“How can I forget it, mum. Why are you thinking about that now?” He stares at her with his mouth wide open, uncertain about the reasons of this conversation.
“Then you will remember that someone said to you something about being the next Justin Bieber.”

Liam smiles, thinking that his mother must be confused by this whole fame-thing and doesn’t understand that her son and the other guys are going to treble that young popstar’s popularity in no time.
His mom keeps looking at him tentatively, as if she wanted to spit something out but at the same time was afraid of hurting him.

“What’s bothering you?” insists Liam, because he is aware of the fact that his mom wouldn’t worry for nothing – or at least the person he has lived with for the past eighteen years wouldn’t.

“I’m just afraid that you might lose your uniqueness,” she sighs, as this confession hits Liam and leaves him surrounded by question marks. It follows a long minute of silence, in which both of them wait for the other’s reaction.
“I just don’t get it, mum,” he finally explodes. “Tell me what happened to make you feel that way!”
Again, his mum moistens her lips and fixes the orientation of the webcam just to organize her thoughts.
“This morning I was watching a gossip tv show and at some point they started talking about you.” She pauses for a while, thinking about taking it all back, but now that she’s just on the way to say what she has been thinking about for days, she cannot turn back and Liam, anyhow, wouldn’t give her the chance.

“So what?” he urges her. Liam has never stood roundabout expressions and he has always thought that being honest and direct is the best way to say things and it’s the way his parents taught him when he was a kid.
“They dedicated the whole footage to Harry. It was all about ‘Harry and the other guys’ and ‘One Direction leader Harry Styles.”

The room that a couple of minutes before was full of their voices and their arguing, now fell silent. Liam lays on his bed, the laptop on his belly and the still profile image of his mother on the screen.

Liam has always taken his parents’ words as gospel, has never doubted that all they have done was for his own good but would never have thought that his mother’s mind could produce such mean thoughts. Mean, but nevertheless true.

Soon enough he realizes that his mother’s words ring in his head more than they should, making him understand that she wasn’t wrong about the whole thing: Harry is the one personal questions during interviews are asked to, the one the camera focuses on more, the one who gets most of the attention.
It’s not that he had never figured that out, but was never a matter of any importance to him.
He liked – he likes - Harry, his attitude, his nimbleness that is often taken for lightness, but never by Liam; now all he can see is Harry with all the lights on him, Harry with his grin that overwhelms females of all ages, Harry who pulls silly faces and it seems like he’s the funniest person on earth.

Suddenly all the excitement that defined the trip to America, the expectations of having the time of his life faded away: he finds excuses not to go out with the lads, smiles only when it’s required and starts to feel sorry for the other guys, who just don’t get it, as he didn’t get it before talking with his mum.

“It sucks looking at everything under this perspective,” he wants to say to her one day while talking, but he doesn’t, as he does not want to dump the load on her, even if she has done pretty much the same, making him feel miserable for the past couple of days.

*

Liam’s behaviour doesn’t pass unnoticed.
Louis is the first one to worry, as he knows perfectly that Liam’s mood determines everyone else’s and mostly because he cares about Liam and wants him to be happy. He talks with Zayn, who in turn has already spoken with Niall about it: it has never happened to them that someone went through something like that and it’s awkward to face it. They try to arouse Liam, to make him say what troubles him, to get his problem off his chest, but Liam doesn’t let out his feelings and instead he lets his resentment grow. He is grateful, though, but all he can think of is that Harry hasn’t asked him anything at all: he just looked at the others worrying about him and kept sitting in the corner of the sofa.

There’s a point, that Friday evening, when all these feelings overwhelm him, leave him out of breath: they’re all watching a movie and while Louis and Zayn comment every single scene and Niall dissolves into giggles, Harry is just sitting on the couch, sending some texts and smiling to himself. As if he was different and special.

Liam bids them goodnight blaming it all on a huge headache; they feel sorry to be laughing while he is feeling so bad, but his condescending smile lightens their consciences.

*

Liam’s already curled up under his blanket, reading the message his father has just sent him: “You’ll be the next Robbie Williams, kiddo. Never give up. x”
His head hurts and suddenly he bursts into tears and this weeping is totally different from what he is used to: you cry because you’re joyful or sad, “only girls cry for other reasons”, he has always thought.

A minute later someone knocks on the door, but Liam pretends nothing has happened, hoping that the guys – if it’s them – would go away.

Instead someone opens the door and out of the corner of his eye he recognizes Harry.
Liam’s stomach grumbles.

Harry silently approaches his bed, barefooted in his pajamas and Liam stares at him with uncertainty.
“Would you mind if I join you?” asks politely the curly. Liam nods and in no time Harry is laying right next to him under the sheets, pressing his cold feet against Liam’s socks.

They keep staring at each other for what seems like ages: Liam is torn between telling him everything and behaving like the resolute and tough one, because in any case he would lose something.

Unexpectedly is Harry the one who makes the first move and it’s such a relief for Liam just to have to listen, and not to be the one who brings something into question.

“I miss you,” admits Harry and there’s neither rhetoric nor falsehood in his words; Liam can tell they’re genuine, can tell that he means every single word he has said.

That makes him feel even worse: he would have never thought that fame could have carried him that far, that resentment and lies could have taken over his life. It’s not his parents’ fault: he should have known better, ‘cause he’s the one who’s living on this roller coaster and the one who should tell apart between bad and good.
Harry’s just Harry and he might be the one people like the most, but none of his gestures and behaviours is forced, none of his smiles is strained and Liam feels stupid to realize it now that Harry’s cute, pimpled face is in front of his.

He smiles and sees that as a sign of surrender: Harry throws his arms on Liam’s chest, gives him a warm cuddle and lays his curly head in the huddle between Liam’s head and shoulder.
His nervous breath gets back to normality as he cradles Harry, making him close his eyes.

Liam should have never doubted that, ‘cause, before being a boy-band, they have always been friends and he knows he owes them an apology, but right now he only wants to cherish this moment, he wants to keep in mind that words can be powerful, but nothing has more power than friendship.
 
 
 
Braps: Doctor Who > Quotebrahurricane on May 23rd, 2012 06:54 am (UTC)
Ma perché devi dire che è una cavolata, è un amore di fic. ♥
Mi piace il fatto che sia assolutamente realistica - nel senso, è una situazione assolutamente verosimile che qualcuno si senta "oscurato" da qualcun altro, in un gruppo. E la fine è la cosa più dolce ever, Harry che si accoccola vicino a Liam e gli sorride e aw, no, niente. Awww. L'unico commento che posso fare è awwww, perché niente esprimerebbe bene la dolcezza di questa fic. :'')


Edited at 2012-05-23 06:55 am (UTC)
M.: music > one direction > liamlamechante on May 26th, 2012 05:42 am (UTC)
Aw, grazie Bra!<3 Ultimamente - come se non fosse abbastanza, vero? - inizio a guardare anche Harry con una certa /simpatia/. Ora manca solo Niall e divento una true fan lolol
Grazie ancora!
Marta: ATU || you're asking me if my love growselisewin16 on May 23rd, 2012 11:23 am (UTC)
awww ♥
okay la mia conoscenza sugli one direction è pari tipo a zero (a parte che tipo l'altro giorno io e mia sorella ci siamo messe a cantare What makes you beautiful nel mezzo del nulla, LOL - ok lo so che questo con la fic non c'entra nulla ma era per dire), so a malapena associare le facce ai nomi perciò il mio parere non so quanto ti possa tornare utile X'D(mi sono vista il video per capire chi era Liam e credo di ricordarmi chi è Harry visto che come dici nella fic è quello che sta sempre al centro dell'attenzione XD) però da "esterna" ti dico che mi è piaciuta e l'ho trovata tenerissima ♥
M.: music > one direction > liamlamechante on May 26th, 2012 05:43 am (UTC)
Beh, allora questa fic ha un senso se ti ricordi di Harry lol!
Grazie mille Marta!<3333 Mi fa piacerissimo che tu abbia commentato!
Marta: hunger games || katniss&gale.elisewin16 on July 7th, 2012 03:27 pm (UTC)
scusa ho riletto il commento e sono qui che rido come un'imbecille.
pensare che era poco meno di un mese fa! XDDDD
colazitron: Harry is a fairy tale princesscolazitron on June 9th, 2012 12:17 pm (UTC)
I love that it's Harry who fixes it in the end. And so simply as well. <3
M.: music > one direction > liamlamechante on June 10th, 2012 12:33 pm (UTC)
Aw, thanks! <3